It was for a variety of reasons that I, years ago, rejected the dogma of Christianity and other organized religions. Instead, I wandered through the fascinating maze of religious history. I became a spiritual nomad, exploring a variety of paths.I read about all kinds of religions, but I didn't feel comfortable with any of them. I needed more information, but it was hard to find. A lot has changed in the last 25 years. I knew in my heart what I felt and believed but way back then the internet wasn't the nearly the overflowing, gushing geyser of information it is today. If anything, it was just a trickle, seeping up from between barren rocks. But, I did manage to meet a woman from Missouri who became my first "online" friend. She and I spent many hours chatting online, sharing the joys and heartaches of being single mothers of young children. It was from her that I first heard the word "Paganism". She let me know that she was a Pagan and practicing witch. Intrigued by some of the things she said, I started digging up any and all information I could find on the subject (which again, wasn't much, not like the plethora of information these days). As I read it was like a spiritual homecoming. There were people who felt and believed the same things I did! There was a name for these people, for me. Pagan. Oh, I know now that the belief sets that come under the heading of "Pagan" are as many and as varied as the leaves in the trees that I honor and love. But at that moment, all of the differences were nothing to me in the face of the commonalities. I had found "my people".
In the ensuing years I've continued my studies, sometmes almost obsessively. I started with the quintessential book Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler- THE book "they" say every pagan should read. I devoured works by everyone from Silver Ravenwolf and Scott Cunningham to Z Budapest, Dorothy Morrison, Raven Grimassi, and Isaac Bonewits. I think at last count my "woo-woo" library contained over 200 books, since I hoard those books, never giving them away or selling them to the used book store, even if I haven't read them in years. Some of what I read I accepted and embraced. Other things just didn't fit for me, so they were filed away in my mind under "interesting, but not for me".
It hasn't all been reading, though. I've sought out those with knowledge and experience greater than mine. My online friend, Patti was her name, was my first teacher. We kept up communication for many years, finally losing touch in the vastness of cyberspace and of life itself. There have been others I've learned from since. Some things I was taught were good things, some not so good. But for me it was all about the knowledge and the process of opening my mind and spirit.
I learned the history of ancient Pagan beliefs and the facts of the birth of Neo-Paganism, divorced from the mythos. I made side trips into Celtic lore, Native American beliefs, Hinduism, Voudou, Hoo-Doo, Asatru, and Egyptian pantheons. From each I found those parts that sang to my soul and held onto them, weaving them into the tapestry that was becoming my true self.
Even today, some twenty odd years after I took the first step onto that road less traveled, I am learning and evolving. The Earth Mother stays as the central heart of it all, and I honor the duality of life in her Consort. I celebrate the Sabbats with others on occassion, but there is always my own private, unique observance. I have honed my talents in the Craft, finding new ways to bring the elements together and achieve my dreams. I have studied Reiki, and accepted the Universal responsibilities that go with it. I have learned to blend my own magickal healing with the energies of Reiki. Most recently, I have plunged into things metaphysical, and added the new ingredient of spirit doctors to the healing recipe, and given the cauldron a good stir.
These won't be the last steps on my journey, for life is a series of spiral dances, twisting and curving in upon itself and out again. I look forward to all of the knowledge and wisdom and just plain fun that is yet to come. And I look back, grateful that I was able to find my path and embark on this journey of my spirit.
